When To Replace Strings On Instruments
- Violins: When gaps in the winding appear, or a noticeable dent at either nut or bridge occurs. (They’re not going to set you back much, so go ahead and start imagining that this is happening after about 9 months)
- Violas: When kinks develop, or string behaves like a limp penis. Strings should have some bounce to them, like an erect phallus. (Viagra will not help)
- Cellos: When you can afford a new set, or every couple of years (less for thinner strings). Or, if you’re obsessed with “resonant sound”, whenever your ears start to feel prickly and your fingers crave the touch untainted by layers of rosin and regret.
- Basses: Pretty much never. Save up for new ones, and when the 10 year mark rolls around, think about wearing protective goggles incase of snappage. Start having birthday parties for your strings after 12 years, and mourn their passing as you would an elderly relative.
- Pianos/auto harps/Harps: Fuck if I know, call the requisite fairy. (Anyone who can deal with tuning that many strings must be magical)
mariah carey and ariana grande getting in a fight
I JUST CRIED FOR LIKE 4 MINUTES
I’m literally crying.
Fastest way to get through a border patrol checkpoint
I need a part 2 to this